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Soon enough, hopelessness, frustration, anxiety and a host of other debilitating emotions set in. Frantic attempts to look for information on the internet and consulting with friends only led to more negativity and anguish. I either came across the Reader's Digest kind of survivor stories or extracts that expect the patient or the caregiver to be superhuman if they have to make it through the ordeal. Not only were the precautions intimidating, the data on the sites didn't deal much with the less clinical and more human aspect of living through the disease. In an interview to Chalakudyonline ,Chitra Vasudevan sharing her own experience and conveying a positive energy to the cancer affected patients.

1. We would like to know something about you?

- A management professional who gave up a two-decade career to work on community-oriented projects, she runs an NGO in south India. Residing in New Delhi, I also volunteer for National Trust, a government organization in the area of developmental disability. I am teaching classical music over Skype to village kids and other aspiring young musicians in the US, Indonesia, Sweden and various parts of India. My experience has helped a few people whose lives have been affected by cancer. I am also willing share positive energy or counseling for the cancer affected patients.

2. When you first came to know about the disease?

- One morning in August 2010, while in the shower, I felt a little lump in my right breast. I first dismissed the finding as a figment of my imagination. But soon I decided that it was something I needed to pay attention to. There was no pain so it couldn't be anything bad, I reassured myself. I mean bad things cause pain, don't they? My next dilemma was whether to tell someone about it or see a doctor. Finally, I decided to do neither. Instead I made up my mind to "will it away". Three weeks later, the lump was still there so I made an appointment with the doctor. After she examined me, she said, "Nothing to worry [about], get a mammogram done anyway and we shall see." I was to go to Chennai to attend a family wedding but I decided not to keep the mammogram waiting. For a first-timer, a mammogram is an unsettling experience, and it didn't help that the attendant was rude and indifferent. Looking through the mammogram reports, the doctor said I could come back to her for a "further course of action" after returning from my trip. While in Chennai, I took some time away from the celebrations to see my gynecologist. Seemingly reassuring, she said, "Let's do a simple biopsy to rule out any malignancy." The report proved inconclusive. Nevertheless, my family doctor advised surgery to have the lump removed. Back in New Delhi, I made an appointment to see an onco-surgeon who specialized in breast surgery. The tests now went into full swing. While the various investigations were on, my onco-surgeon updated me on the options that I had at every stage. More and more reports came in. With every subsequent visit to the onco-surgeon, it was obvious we were only looking at a set of ‘ifs'. Nothing was proven beyond a doubt, yet. The lump didn't seem harmful but it didn't seem harmless either. Yes, no, maybe, maybe not... He finally suggested lumpectomy, where a frozen section biopsy could determine whether it was malignant or not.

3. You said in an article, “most dramatic surprise of life.” Can you just explain that sentence.

- When I first came to know about my disease instead of losing faith, I gained faith in God and in myself and I did what many in the age of information overload do. I surfed the internet for every scrap of information on how to survive cancer. And this is what I called I referred as the “most dramatic surprise of my life.”

4. What were the symptoms that shown and how you felt when you heard about that?

- It was just a little lump which I found that was the first time I felt that something was wrong. Then I consulted the doctor and done with mammogram and biopsy and at last surgery.

5. You made a research when you came to know about your disease. How it helped you?

- The moment you are told by doctors that they need to rule out "anything serious", your mind starts working overtime. You start doing your own research using the most easily available source in today's world - the internet. You also talk to doctors in the family, to friends who have counseled cancer patients and friends who have had someone in the family go through the ordeal. The web is an exhaustive resource of information from medics, patients and cancer-care sites set up and run by companies making drugs for cancer, or at times by people getting together in an endeavor to help. To sieve through this information and get the most reliable, positive, non-depressing, non-scary site is a Herculean task. Every time I had a report on my hand, I would Google for a term mentioned in the reports. The search would often lead me to sites that told me it could be cancer - even if the chances were a mere 1 per cent. I soon gave up my dependence on the internet as it was making me paranoid. I would read up to a point and give up if it suggested the worst. I wished there could be more sites offering hope. The medical fraternity believes in being objective about what they tell you. The underlying philosophy is to call the situation black or white; it can never be grey. And most often it is black unless proved by all tests to be white. But then they are in the business of curing people and so the accent is always on the disease. Friends and relatives always worry for you. You are inundated with concern. Despite great advances in its treatment, cancer is still believed to be a disease without a cure - dangerous and life-threatening. There is much panic at the mere mention of the word. To see your near ones so concerned makes you feel worse. I therefore took a decision to talk about my illness to select people only. Official contacts and colleagues were told I was going through a surgery and would need to rest.

6. “Faith is the great healer.” How would you explain that?

Look for positive, objective and caring people to be with during this ordeal. Faith is the greatest healer. Have faith in God, in your doctor, in yourself. The only way is forward.

7. You are now a great inspiration for the cancer affected individuals. How do you feel when you interact with them?

- Most of them are nervous and think their life is over and go to the stage of depression. This is not the way the people should overcome if you have faith in yourself and in God you can overcome any situation. I feel like through so many counseling I was able to give some people strength to overcome the present situation.

8. You are now a great inspiration for the cancer affected individuals. How do you feel when you interact with them?

I would say that if you come to know that you are suffering from a disease don’t ever get upset or depressed. You have faith in yourself and think positively and you will be alright……